slapshot 3

Clicky Copey, I understand Texans now...It's all about the hat!! Between about 40 mins and the end

A new high tech

Louis and Joyce were making passionate love in Louis's mini van when suddenly Joyce, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out "Oh fat boy, whip me, whip me!" Louis, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Joyce until they both collapses in ecstasy. About a week later, Joyce notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?" Joyce, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Louis (let alone that she allowed the kinky sod to whip her) eventually admits that, yes, she did. Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in all my years of doctoring you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen.

From another thread Clicky Maybe an explanation, Honda reducing their commitments to companies they supply on a small scale to concentrate on core business??

Sometimes ya never know.... Picking up on what Copey said and expanding it a little: I think underneath we all have this little tendancy to look at our own ethnicity as something that little bit special and protecting it, that is why we sometimes become intolerant of other ethnic groups. Old Schicklegruber and the Nazis took this to an extreme. The real psychotic Muslim Fundamentalists look at the Qur'an and take it as the motivator for killing every non-muslim. Aparthied did it. Segregation in the US. Religious sectarianism is still rife. These are just a few examples of the concept, they are not meant as a condemnation of those specifics though any normal upstanding individual would condemn most of them. What I'm getting at is the survival instinct of each individual race, which, when protracted gives rise to the examples we've seen of ethnic cleansing over the years. Mark talks about both the schisms in his local community and the integration and it's only by that integration can the world actually exist together. I grew up with two forms of this nonsense, religious sectarianism and the old Scots/English chestnut. Some of my relatives are still staunch members of the Orange Lodge, the bigotry is unbelieveable but it's part of growing up in the south west of Scotland, I thought green sweets were bad for you until I was about 12 and I still have a cousin who will only eat carrots as a veg!!! Your biggest survival battle is knowing who supports Rangers and who supports Celtic. The brainwashing didn't work on me, I couldn't care less about that crap. The Scots / English stuff, a lot of it is banter these days but again there are cousins I have won't associate with me because Mrs Slapshot's old man is English, their loss. Maybe we got over our own attempts "terrorism" and "ethic cleansing" centuries ago and largely we are integrated but more and more you see demands made on our society to change to accept other races/ethnic groups instead of them integrating into society and the workplace. No matter how much you do to help them integrate they want everything on a plate. I have no objection to these people coming into the UK and contributing, what I do object to is the wholesale overhaul our society and national identities our countries have to go through to suit some of these immigrants, jeez I've got the whole problem sitting on the workstation opposite me!!! I've got friends and acquantancies from every corner of the globe, even Texas ( ) just don't bring me bad people. Here endeth the Sunday Sermon......

A man ia queueing at the 5 items or less checkout. The girl in front of him turns around and looks at his basket. He has a 4 pack of lager and an Indian meal for 1. She smiles at him. He looks in her basket and sees a half bottle of Lambrini and a Chinese meal for 1. He says to her "You're single aren't you?" She gives a girly giggle and says "Yes, how do you know?" The man replies "Coz you're an ugly bitch"

Group B Lancia Stratos on full chat ....... was there ever a better noise????

The support for the Provos in the US was more than waning at that stage so the timing was rather opportune is maybe a better way of putting it. That and the fact that the nutter camel jockey Gaddaffi didn't want blamed for any more so he stopped the supply as well. Said this before somewhere I think but the last real attempt the provos had agains British Forces in Germany was while we were there. They had launched a home made mortar into a barracks in Osnabruck and scored a major own goal but sticking it through the Chapel window. Few nights later we had been in town for a leaving do in the town Brauhaus, couldn't get back home because the MP's had cordoned off the whole stretch of the road to the barracks. They had found a suitcase in the road ditch behind our house and the one next door. The young babysitter was in the house with our two crapping herself because she couldn't get hold of us and they wanted to evacuate. In the end they did a small controlled explosion in situ took out 20 feet of fence but there was no device, it was a hoax, but it hit you there and then how these psychopaths work. It was personal it was as close to us as you can imagine. 9/11 took terrorism onto a global scale and it has had a net effect on every single person, to a greater or lesser extent. In the case of our colonial cousins and Texans( ) it put it on their doorsteps, it became a problem that they couldn't ignore any longer. It wasn't happening to someone else, somewhere else that they'd seen on a map. What still gets me about that afternoon is the secure teleprinter (remember them) that started rattling in our comms room, it was only there for one thing, it's previous use had been during Gulf 1. To be honest I don't think something like a bombing does hit you until it reaches that personal level, whether it's affected you or a friend or family member. 9/11 has had a massive effect on the world and I don't think we should underestimate those effects on any one. When it comes to these b****rds, if the Texan wants to hold the wires.....I'll crank the generator handle.

..and it never rains in Yorkshire???

Scotland..........

Buggers get round those distinctions by saying "British or otherwise" then the Ethnicity Question comes in as White - British. They tend to send them back when you score out British and write Scottish over the top......

Surely you mean ..... BRITAIN EXPECTS Dabster,.......

Go smack im one and hide him somewhere

Grew up in Ayrshire, lived in Ripon for a couple of years, Gutersloh in Germany for five years, then moved back home to Scotland. Loved Germany and adore Yorks but there no place like home. However........if the magic numbers rolled in it would be the south of France... love the place

Copey, It's on the front page already mate....... I'll have a dig, I may have a pic of the "belle dame" herself, mind you I might end up dead if I post it....

:rotfl:

There is a bike like that but it's a different one for each of us, get a crack on as many as you can decide for yourself. Every bike has it's quirks.

...would you be bored this evening Mr Grieg????

....and feckin typical, I'm working!!! Backing up what Bigfoot has said the club have put a huge amount of work into this event go and see it!!

Jammy Git, week in Hawaii, time in Nevada (you can barely call that work) AND sodding public hols as well.......make you sick!!!

What our jetlagged and befuddled leader means is it's a bank holiday in England.......we're still working in Scotland

A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant. So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly. He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto 'We love to fly and it shows'. The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto 'Winning the hearts of the world'. Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face. Undeterred , he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto 'Going beyond expectations'. The woman looks at him sternly and says 'What the f*ck do you want?' 'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face, "Ryanair check-in Glasgow"

More Scots Poetry Slaggy Senga fell in love, She planned to marry joe. She was so happy 'bout it all, She told her faither so. Faither told her, Senga doll, You'll have to find another. I'd just as soon yer maw don't know, But joe is yur half brither. So Senga put aside her joe And planned to marry wull. But after telling faither this, He said, 'there's trouble still.' You canny marry wull, my doll, And please don't tell yur mither. But will and joe, and several merr I know is yur half brither. But mither knew and said, my doll, Just do what makes ye happy. Marry will or marry joe; Cos faithers no your daddy !!! -------------------------------------- Two blondes went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said. "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!" -------------------------------------- The mother of Caster Semenya, women's 800m world champion has expressed her outrage at her daughter having to undergo a gender test . She said "This is a real kick in the B*****ks for my daughter" -------------------------------------- A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop: "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer". He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. The couple gladly accepted, and were off! About a month later, the little old lady came to visit the travel agent's shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "Well," said the old woman, "the flight was exciting and the room was truly lovely. and I have come to thank you for it. But," she added, "one thing has been puzzling me -- who was that old man I had to share the room with?"

Damn right Einstein why didn't I think of that, 'ang on a mo I did....... there's no feckin pic there so no feckin target to paste into the newly opened tab, we're not all thick!! Still no sodding piccy

No piccy........