gjbiker

This may be of interest? Spoke Length Calculator GJ

Five squids on its way via PayPal John, see you at Craiglash if you want to save the postage? GJ

Hi Paul, by the way you've been riding this year I doubt you need to tame the 250 down? You'll soon 'gel' with the gasser the same way you did with the Beta. Stick to a good maintenance routine and all should be good, removing the flywheel cover after a wet trial to dry everything off is always a good idea? Drop me a PM regarding practice this Sunday or the team trial at Monzie and you can ask as many questions as you like! GJ

That's good to hear, cheers GJ

I managed to get a pair of 8's before they all went. See how good a fit they are when they arrive? A bit of a gamble as I've never tried the new Askews before but at that price I was willing to take the chance? I'll pass on my findings when they arrive, if they're a bit tight then somebody else will get even more of a bargain I suppose? GJ

That's normally the way it goes Graham? I wasn't really needing a new pair but at that price they can stay in the box until my old faithfuls fall to bits! I love my Gaernes but at

Just spotted these last night and bought a pair for myself. Can't see them lasting long at that price? Much Cheapness I'm not trying to assist in promoting either the website or the seller, just pointing anyone who likes a bargain in the right direction. GJ

Fair comment Graham but you can't really close it out until the end of the year (where I normally find myself at the bottom somewhere). Why put pressure on yourself (or others)? Chill out and enjoy GJ

Hi Graham, I'm quite sure you're not alone on this subject and I fully understand the anxiety of waiting to see if you've dabbed less than your mate so he can buy you a pint (or whatever). The reasons for length of time it takes to get the results published are dependant on the club and whoever has the rather daunting task of sorting out all the punchcards? So I suppose there's no real answer for any delays on a whole apart from the fact that the majority of people who carry out the task are volunteers and have their own lives to live and jobs to do? I'm quite sure if you offer your services to help you won't be turned away? Personally I tend not to dwell on my scores too much, good days, bad days etc. I'll run through the trial in my head that night and try and pick up on where I went wrong but come Monday morning I'm more interested in looking forward to the next one so I can try and do better! End of lunch break....... GJ

Hi Ross and welcome to TC There are plenty topics on here to assist you in what you need to know to get started but if you can't find what you're looking for using the search function then there's plenty helpful members here to point you in the right direction. Best of luck when you finally get started. GJ

For X-11 info click HERE For X-Light info click HERE For lessons on how to type 'Michelin' into Google click HERE On a less cheeky and personally opinioned note; I've ridden with both and can't tell the difference (my skill level = crap but entertaining). I'm going to stick to the X-11 on the basis of why pay 6% more to get 6% less? GJ

Nice one Spike Some excellent footage of an excellent trial and apart from the vocals in the first track the music was very enjoyable (anyone that puts an AC-DC track in their video has at least some taste in music) How about a whole season of all the Bon Accord trials next year? GJ

I've used pop rivets in the past without any problems? It would depend on how thick the base was though? GJ

I bought some Jitsie Bolt gear this year which is loose fitting compared to my old Hebo stuff. Not so good when it gets wet though? Snug, close fitting, skin tight - call it what you want but I find it less distracting (especially when wet) compared to the looser fitting stuff? Personal opinion; I really don't give a sh*t how I look as long as I'm comfortable! GJ

Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre." My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a ****. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year. You want to stop before you're banned from teaching altogether." Remember the 7 qualities for the perfect girlfriend - Beautiful, Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible. Or in other words B.I.G.T.I.T.S. Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything - KitKats, Mars bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot. My new wig arrived the other day. It's made of ******** hair. The bloody thing keeps blowing off. A wise man once said "You should treat your women the way you treat your hoover. When it stops sucking, change the old bag." Question - are there too many immigrants in Britain? 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not understanding the question." Prince William said he didn't want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding. Prince Phillip said he didn't give a toss, he'd still going anyway. What do Tottenham Hotspur and Heather Mills have in common? The second leg is just for show Just £3 will buy water and food for a family in Africa. But don't let your heart rule your head. Morrisons are doing 4 Stella for £2-99. 100 people from Liverpool were asked today if they thought Britain should change its currency. 98% said no, they were happy with the Giro. Bloke comes home to find his son sitting on the couch, grinning from ear to ear. "What are you so happy about?" he asked. "I just f *cked the girl next door" he says proudly. "Well done son. I hope you were wearing something." "Yup" he replied. "A balaclava." I thought the wife would be the ideal candidate for a new TV show. Turns out I got it all wrong and the programme's called Fact Hunt. The cost of living has now got so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries! 1 sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1403808.59375GB in about 3 seconds. And you thought Virgin media was fast. Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 08001730 for 2 bloody days. Why don't you answer the bloody phone. Girl replies, those are our opening times you daft ****. Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of whiteout. I woke up this morning with a huge correction. Some *******'s just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers but she wants the 12 pegs back. A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time..... I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance. Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over. A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said.... 'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.' My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web. Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield . 3.1415927 dead I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. "Morning." I said. "No" he replied, "just having a sh*t." Went around to a friend’s house today. His wife was sat there with their newborn baby. She asked if I'd like to wind it.... I thought that was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead. I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move. The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death….. Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. Paddy says "mick i'm thinking of buying a labrador." "sod that" says mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind" My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that 2:30am?! Luckily for him i was still up playing my drums.

I encountered what I thought was a strange wine at this years SSDT, apparently it was an energy drink? On a more serious note, I reckon the strange noise coming from your bike will be really hard to diagnose on here? Can someone you know with a bit of mechanical knowledge perhaps help you? Smokey from a cold start? Is it 2 or 4 stroke? GJ

The word 'Haynes' could be replaced with 'Clymer' if so desired? Dedicated to all of us who have ever used a Haynes Manual! Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise. Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. Haynes: This is a snug fit. Translation: You will skin your knuckles! Haynes: This is a tight fit. Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! Haynes: As described in Chapter 7... Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox. Haynes: Pry... Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into... Haynes: Undo... Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (catering size). Haynes: Retain tiny spring... Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out"! Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb... Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part. Haynes: Lightly... Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly". Haynes: Weekly checks... Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it! Haynes: Routine maintenance... Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be! Haynes: One spanner rating. Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up? Haynes: Two spanner rating. Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you). Haynes: Four spanner rating. Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb! Haynes: Five spanner rating. Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!! Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this... Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Haynes: Compress... Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "b*****" repeatedly under your breath. Haynes: Inspect... Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"! Haynes: Carefully... Translation: You are about to cut yourself! Haynes: Retaining nut... Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust. Haynes: Get an assistant... Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know. Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark pugs removed. Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs. Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal. Translation: But you swear in different places. Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs... Translation: Snap off... Haynes: Using a suitable drift... Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift! Haynes: Everyday toolkit Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone Haynes: Apply moderate heat... Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat. Haynes: Index Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do! GJ

Common misconception Donald, his name was definitely Penry (full name Penrod Pooch) and could stop tyres from popping off the rim with a single karate chop GJ

Have a search on the subject or click on the following links if you've spilled something on your keyboard ; Linky 1 Linky 2 Linky 3 Some interesting reading and 'additives' won't help so say the boffins........ethanol free fuel is what we want GJ

I've been using This Stuff for years and I swear by it. I dilute it at (at least) 20:1 and apply it with one of them garden spray pumpy things, scrub it in with a brush and rinse off. Much more cost effective in the long term than the majority of any other cleaners I've used. GJ

Yeh, a shot in the dark perhaps Mark but we're a bit short on details here? Who is the elusive tyre fitter? Is it Rosemary the telephone operator or Penry the mild mannered janitor? Best consult the Hong Kong book of Kung Fu....... GJ

I'd be looking to take it back to whoever ordered and fitted then? If it's their mistake then they should put it right (as in fit a tubeless tyre) regardless if the fitted tyre is 'slightly' used? You should only be liable for the price difference - the customer is always right (sometimes) ! GJ

Hi Charlie, the same question was asked a while back, have a looky HERE - old tyres, logs, rocks and barrels all tend to be free or cheap if you look around? GJ