steveo

Really ! which one ?

The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to Hell and Tiger Woods went to Heaven. The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in Hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error. "However", the clerk explains, "it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified". Next day the Pope is called and Hell's staff bids him farewell. On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from Heaven and they stop to have a chat. "Sorry about the mix up", apologizes the Pope. "No problem" replied Tiger Woods. Pope: "I am really anxious to get to Heaven" Tiger: "Why is that?" Pope: "All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary" Tiger: "You're a day late."

History's top 10 times for appropriate use of the F-word 10th - "Scattered f***ing showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC 9th - "How the f*** did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC 8th - "You want WHAT on the f***ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566 7th - "Where did all those f***ing Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877 6th - "It does so f***ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926 5th - "Where the f*** are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937 4th - "Any f***ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938 3rd - "What the f*** was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima , 1945 2nd - "I need this parade like I need a f***ing hole in the head!" - JFK, 1963 And ... drum roll ...,,,,,.. The number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word .... "Aw c'mon. Who the f*** is going to find out?" - Tiger Woods, 2009

SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away... TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy.... AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive

Fellow you bought it froms name was V. Rossi ! right ?

Hi Lightfoot, You have a 09 Gas Gas 250 that is fitted with a 28ml keihen and a fast action throttle, (white tube) ? I would suggest you fit the standard dellorto that you received with your bike to feel the difference, this will give you an indication of how much more responsive and aggressive the keihen transforms the motor characteristics. The bikes previous owner may have been a more experienced rider and was looking for the instant hit the Keihen delivers, and there is no denying the Keihen holds it tune better and can be tuned so much more easily and accurately compared to the dellorto.

The keihen is akin to a supercharger on a GasGas. MotoMerlins suggestion of fitting a dellorto will tame it down immediately. Better still is a 26ml OKO for the accurate tuning and super smooth running characteristics of a Keihen without the aggression. Fit a slow throttle tube as well.

great camera work and prettiest and most enjoyable bit of riding there.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.' I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.' Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.' Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. 'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.' The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and p*** all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!' I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!

I have often wondered if Bou or Fugi have ever had a sneak ride on a 2T, and wondered what they thought !

At his age incontinence could be a problem..... specially if theres a gin involved !

Susan Boyle.... read in the paper today see would like to find a Big John ! 3 miles seems a cosy short drive BJ.

Another discusion I once saw was the front disc was the contact point of the ends peg and it took the peg to a near horizontal lean and the marker was adamant that the five was appropriate and the ensuing banter was worth listening to.

There a couple of really good vids on scoring. The first vid where one of the riders demonstrating comes to the LHS of the bike with both feet but keeping his left foot planted on the peg and both hands on the bars, then changes gear with his right foot looks very wrong but it does meet the wording of our rules over here too. I tried it a couple of times today and it feels like a five should come into play. Weird!!!

I go real slow. 10/44 feels fine to me.

1996 JTR

I have also purchased items from Mike at Moto Merlin. Most every time, 6 days later its in my hands here in Australia. Highly recommended for your trials needs.

Being an observer and being consistant in your assessment of riders attempts is what everyone agrees on. If a section is so difficult that all riders are incuring a five does not give the observer the right to use his discresion on rewarding what he thinks is a better attempt than most others when a failure has occured. A more skilled five is still a five. If at the end of the day if all riders have received a five that is not the fault of the observer. If the section set has proved too tough he should not feel obliged to get lenient as the day wears on because it is frustrating. The cm roll back is still back and this is where it gets challenging on the observers and riders and some of the gamesmanship starts.

I fully agree with you on this this. Many markers say they give a little leeway if riders have a moment where they slide back just a little. They are in effect rewarding a poor ride, at the end of the day his score will not reflect this rider error. If it happens on a harder part of a section each lap by a few lenient markers it really can give an inaccurate picture of a riders performance over the whole days event. Four attempts where a five should have been applied puts a very big dent in a score were a kind hearted clean was given. Failing a section at any point in the section should see the rider exit the section. To continue the marked path of his graded ride gives him an unfair advantage for his next attempt the following lap. His early failure, even if timing is being used negates his right to use that time to continue his marked route.

Rooster Woody sounds good.

Their what you call a real pair of swingers.

Chemist walks back into his shop after a short break and sees a man leaning against the wall. "What's wrong with him?" he asks his assistant "He came in for cough syrup but I couldn't find any so I gave him an entire bottle of laxatives" replied the assistant. "You silly idiot" exclaims the chemist, "you can't treat a cough with laxatives" "Of course you can" replies the assistant, "look at him, he's too scared to cough"

some women have worked us out. 1. Men are like Laxatives They irritate the crap out of you. 2 Men are like. Bananas The older they get, the less firm they are. 3.Men are like Weather Nothing can be done to change Them. 4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.. 5. Men are like Chocolate Bars Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right For your hips. 6. Men are like Commercials You can't believe a word they say. 7. Men are like Department Stores Their clothes are always 1/2 off! 8. Men are like Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature. 9. Men are like Mascara They usually run at the first sign of emotion. 10. Men are like Popcorn They satisfy you, but only for a little while. 11. Men are like Snowstorms You never know when they're coming, how many Inches you'll get or how long it will last. 12. Men are like Lava Lamps Fun to look at, but not very bright. 13.. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are Handicapped.

Tell your mate I like his form !

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.' Operator: 'What sort of trouble??' Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' Operator: 'Went away?' Caller: 'They disappeared.' Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?' Caller: Nothing.' Operator: 'Nothing??' Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' Operator: 'Are you still in wordPerfect, or did you get out??' Caller: 'How do I tell?' Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??' Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?' Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??' Caller: 'What's a monitor?' Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??' Caller: 'I don't know.' Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. can you see that??' Caller: 'Yes, I think so.' Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: 'Yes, it is.' Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??' Caller: 'No.' Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' Caller: 'Okay, here it is.' Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.' Caller: 'I can't reach.' Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??' Caller: 'No.' Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??' Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.' Operator: 'Dark??' Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.' Caller: 'I can't.' Operator: 'No? Why not??' Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??' Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.' Caller: 'Really? is it that bad?' Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??' Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer.'