kinell

Don't leave it too late before turning the tyre, as the back edge can get too sharp and won't last long once turned. The SSDT roadwork shags tyres very quickly, I think I've still got an old one in the garage which I might keep as a reminder not to buy Michelin The knobbles are shaped like ski ramps and 10 of the centre ones are missing

Big John will have 'em in storage

Will it ever end?

There's only way to the top and it isn't going to be easy, he's got to get stuck in...

Class act, reminded me of Morecambe & Wise

To: The citizens of the United States of America: In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy). Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary. 1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. 2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). 3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen. 4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. 5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. 6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. 7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. 8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. 9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it. 10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. 11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. Australian beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. 12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. 13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the Australians, South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us. 14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians first to take the sting out of their deliveries. 15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. 16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). 17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season. God save the Queen. Only He can. John Cleese

True but there is usually a bit of leeway in the 'somewhere near' range. This could be between

Woody, thanks for the detailed explanation - much appreciated. I love the look of Bultaco's but maybe the Fantic is a better bike to ride or I could go for a cheap Mont' while they are still relatively cheap. An old 4 stroke would be perfect Greeves, at the time of posting I didn't realise that asking how much a bike 'like' that costs would be considered taboo or rude. Judging by the initial lack of replies, it was obviously akin to asking a lady how old she is. No offence intended. I'm not interested in buying an older bike and trying to make a profit, nor am I too keen to do a full restoration due to lack of time and skills. Ideally, I would buy something that looks ok and runs right - that way, I wouldn't be too worried about damaging a gorgeous old bike.

Ok then, I'll rephrase the question: - How much would a bike like that cost? (As in a mint condition Bultaco, Ossa, Honda etc.) Ta.

Did I ask a taboo question or something?

Ooh bitchy - you're an older man on a younger model, just wait till the cow chucks you down a big hill

Staggering!

Wow, that bike is stunning - how much would a bike like that cost to buy today? I'm hankering after an old bike, it must be my age

B*****ks, missed it

Some harsh comments The Xispas should make it round as long as the riders know what they are doing and take it steady...

It's a while since I did it but I think the easiest way is to remove the exhaust and middle box (2 bolts) and drop the rear wheel out...

True but I imagine a 'fee hungry, no win - no fee' compensation lawyer might find a hole or two in this method.

The timing looked a bit late but it worked, I don't think the front wheel hit the step at all...

Not Amos but I've seen him at loads of WR's, he's bloody good on a bike too...

To be honest, I doubt that the current setup would work in court. We once employed some ar$ehole who signed and dated his employment contract and then took us to an employment tribunal (we had dismissed him for being drunk at work). The tribunal awarded him the 'win' because we couldn't prove that he had been given a copy of his contract! We even had a Royal Mail 'recorded delivery receipt that showed we had sent it to him. His lawyer argued that the envelope could of contained our Christmas card to him. We now ask all employees to sign and date their contract and then they sign again to state that they have received a copy of the contract that they have just signed ****ing bonkers if you ask me... So, what's the chance of someone injuring themselves and saying "What ACU handbook? I've never received one in the post!"

The 'one more' video had me in stitches

Or... Skinny disk = fat spacer

You should be able to see which is the thicker spacer with the wheel in place, definitely worth checking to make sure

Are you serious?