kinell

I've used old gearbox oil on some knackered old boots before, works a treat but a bit smelly. Put it on with a paintbrush for true Steptoe & Son professionalism

I only got invited so that they'd have someone to take the p*** out of

CT, did you get the scans? I emailed them about 2 hours ago, let me know if they haven't arrived at your end...

Must have worn it away

I think the marriage is the only connection between the two families, that's why they are cousins...

Nearly choked on my Cornflakes then I'm sure Andy will correct me if I get this wrong but I think 'LL' was banned due to several requests from the USA

Considering? If you're that close, you have to spend at least a day at the WR - look out for a cranky ex-Yorkshire observer, 1 p****d up Jock with a flash gun, a Mr. Bean lookalike and me

C'mon Doug - keep yer pecker up

What kind of problems?

Cousins, I think

I've had an 02 and 04 Beta and currently have an 05 bike. Each bike was/is used at least once a week in all sorts of crappy weather - no problems with stators, cdi's and other electrickery components so far If you listened to all the different scare stories about each brand of bike then you'd end up with no bike at all. As NS states, each brand of bike has had problems at some time or another and **** tends to stick long after the manufacturers sort the problem out. Buy the Beta and give 'John Lampkin Imports' a call if you ever have a problem, like most businesses - they will stand behind their product and will try their best to assist you where possible.

I was thinking more of a centipede with its 100 dabbing feet

A caterpillar theme would be about right for me

I have a V shape cut into the bottom of my flywheel cover and I never silicone it on. If water manages to get in, it flows straight back out again - simple. Three screws hold the cover on so taking it off takes less than a minute, no big deal after washing it off, squirt some WD40 in and put the cover on before you ride it next

He bails off pronto

You've been there haven't you? Come on then K, tell us what you did. It was a friend of my uncle that told the neighbours daughter's boyfriend who delivers our morning paper

8" to 10" length of twisted steel cable fitted into a drill chuck. Untwist/fray the other end to make a swirling mass of skin/flesh remover and *carefully* insert into the front pipe. Ideally, the pipe should be in a vice so that you don't have to worry about visiting the A&E department of your local hospital

Consider having the rear of the mudguard closer to the tyre than the front. So, when mud rolls up from the bottom of the tyre, some of it will be scraped off by the mudguard and any that manages to fit through the gap rolls into a bigger gap and out the front without getting clogged up - hopefully. Please note that the opposite happens when rolling backwards

Posing git Where's the next pic of you landing front wheel first and going a*** over tit?

I doubt you'd sump out on it, Ishy told me about it last year saying that it's a flat pointy rock leant back at the perfect angle to use as a ramp to jump a biggish ditch. He said "Whatever you do, no matter how tempting it looks, do not go for it!" It's one of those that you see at the last minute (tyre tread up it) and you think "Should I?" PS I bottled it

You should have seen it from my view I was a dozy pillock for even attempting it!

Look at the speed the bike is doing (blurry) and I'm stood still

Thanks for the CD that arrived this morning titled 'Nude Dwarf Wrestling'. Lots of sniggering in the office when I arrived for work

I wish Did you see me crash on Ben Nevis, section 5? I saw you all giggling, any photo's or a video?

Woody, were you one of the 3 'Hope' Monts? Some trick looking kit fitted to those buggers - very nice (apart from the green stickers)