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I'd probably only get a 30 thou guage in the 40 inch trousers, but I hear you're hardly filling yours at all these days Mark? The Shropshire gayboys didn't put up much of a performance on the Saturday night. Tucked up by midnight. Nights were fine for me - mornings - BAD!

Nice riding - I've been thinking of doing one of these for our club at the end of the year - and I've had the track in mind for ages - I think it would be brilliant - Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams, but I suppose it depends what mood you're after. Only trouble is they put the F word somewhere in the middle. I managed to edit it from a version I did for the kids, maybe your college would let you get away with it. Loads of Green Day tracks would be good I reckon - maybe "Are we the waiting"

Like the fag packet for the plug gap - perfect. Stopped smoking 2 years ago, had to buy a feeler guage

Good lad for having a go anyway, and it's bloody good that you don't feel daft asking the questions. Everybody does everything for the first time some time, the idiot is the one who's too proud to ask - like me You can learn a lot from watching people, but I reckon you can learn a fair bit from sh*tting yourself as bits fall out everywhere Been there many a time - even at work.

Big chubby one on a scruffy Sherco - can't remember which sections they were, but guarantee I was either laughing or crying

Excellent trial, thoroughly enjoyed it - terrible cider. "Ruby Red" it was called, never had such a headache as Saturday morning. 3 hours kip and I couldn't get my eyes open. Had a pretty decent ride Saturday though. Kept it down to about 6 or 7 pints on Saturday night and had a nightmare Sunday morning, so I know what to do next year. Thanks to Dan (Its a kinda magic) and family for their hospitality, lovely barn conversion. Thank God we didn't try the hard route, I'd probably be in hospital now, so thanks to those that gave us the heads up on the trial. If it weren't for TC I may have died. Gasserboy - you must have had a fair trek round Chester, I've been to Scotland and back P.S. Who is the big bloke on the Beta I tried to run over on Saturday. Went to overtake him and he fell off in his rut and rolled in to mine. I've never been so close to using someones wedding tackle as a kicker. Stopped with my front wheel wedged in between his legs.

Just had an email from James Lamin. The Welsh Championship at Neath on 30th Oct - 10.30 start (not as possibly advertised elsewhere), but remember to adjust your clocks the night before. Prompt start to avoid the slight time problems of last year (for some). My totally unbiassed opinion - this was one of the best rounds of last year, run on the same land as the St Davids. Open to allcomers, not just the Welsh (and plastic Yorkshire Welshmen like myself and Lamin). I don't want to steal the thunder from their site if they have one down there, so please anybody fill us in if the details are online somewhere. Otherwise, I'll put any more info I get on here by the end of the week. I'm pretty confident this wil be another quality trial - get yourself there if you can.

Errrr... I've got a postcode Looks like I might be sleeping in the car. Hopefully, if there is phone reception round there, I just need to find what pub the rest of our lot are in. Otherwise I'll just wander round listening out for the most noise and that will be Spence or for someone crying about their poorly leg, that'll be gasserboy, or I could just put my nose to the ground and find Compo Wells There, I've upset them all, they'll be sh*tting in my bed as we speak.

Well it's all come round pretty quickly. Think we're staying at Its a kinda magic's place. Anyone know the best place to eat, and drink (energy drinks obviously). Hopefully the Sat Nav will get me there at dark oclock tomorrow - planning went terribly wrong - entered the trial then found out that my first wife is working both days - now need to finish work and drive to Scotland to drop kids with inlaws, back down to lakes, ride the two days (with energy drinks in between), then back up to Scotland to pick up kids and back home - NICE.

LOL - I use the same trick but i reckon she knows

Was it London fashion week? 2003? Just a guess!

Managed to enhance the photo a bit, so you can get a bit better idea:

Nobody notices me turn up in the miserable black Mondeo, or my pokey little diesel Polo, but I'd have to batten down the hatches if I turned up in that Scooby with the wing on. I'd get the sh*t ripped out of me summat rotten. I think if I had a scooby, I'd want the wolf in sheeps clothing look. There was a time when a penis extension would have been handy, but these days a bar and lights extension is much more important What's the score with these Scoobies then? I thought they would be pretty pricey. I can get a new WRX for

Weekly routine - jetwash after trial, then coat with WD40 including chain and sprockets, and "rustable" parts. Airbox gets stripped off and cloth jammed in carb. Airbox washed out in the sink, air filter in the washing machine with riding gear (probably not that good for it, but doesn't seem to do any harm), airbox in airing cupboard to dry out. Later in week (sometimes Sunday morning ) the carb comes off and blown out with compressor. Use spare filter and oil up this weeks ready for next week. Seal airbox with the Ishy draught excluder method. Fix any breakages (rare - I try to fall under my bike), adjust chain. Polishing is rare, and no money spent on cosmetics. I don't even have any stickers on my mudguards at the moment. I have a new mudguard and stickers on the bench, but not ready to scruff them up yet , so bike can look a bit unloved, but it's the most reliable bike I can imagine. (touch wood)

If he's cheap enough and available most Saturday nights. Week day mornings a bonus, ear plugs a necessity. I'd give him 3 weeks

Fantic 301 maybe? I had a Fantic 301 around that sort of time. Don't remember whether they did one with a rear disc brake though?

Dabster you miserable bugger! I hope you're playing devils advocate, I really don't think that you think like that. I've been to a couple of the British Championship sidecar rounds, observing at one, and it just made me want a sidecar, (although not quite enough for the extra

What's that 2 or 3 trials ya big pufter Any opprotunity for a quick dig

Here we go - I'll get shot down in flames here, but I'll say what I actually believe. There are too many classes already - all over the place. We've got four routes at our trials, which caters for almost all levels of rider. The only ones it possibly doesn't cater for is the superstar, who has progressed past the expert route. Eventually we'll have a class for male one legged virgo's on late 1982 monoshocks. If the route is there, then the extra class just seems to be providing an award, which I don't think is the real spirit of things. I'd love (eventually) to get hold of something like a 250 majesty or a Fantic 240, but I wouldn't want my own class, nowt wrong with riding it on the Novice/Inter/Expert route and seeing how competitive it could be against modern machinery, in fact that would be the whole point of it for me. I know this sounds sort of abrasive, but it's not meant to be, it's just my view, and I'm keen to hear others which may be just as valid

Good idea - minimum 17 stone - I could be right up there

Not sure if that was tongue in cheek or not, so I'll heed the warning of your avatar and go the long way

Yeah I know what you mean. i better just say before I get it in the neck, I thought Hawkstone was organised almost to perfection, even from the perspective of an observer where I would think there's normally a fair bit that leaves a little to be desired. Just using it as an example of how hard it is to police some of these things. To expect the riders to play it absolutely by the book, the organisation needs to be absolutely perfect (which is a damned hard thing to do with 99% volunteers). Although, I think the teams should be doing their bit to keep trials an honest sport.

One area that seemed a little bit slack in Hawkstone was the number of people allowed in the corridors. The previous trial I had observed in Hawkstone was the Junior European. There it was fairly simple. Riders and minders allowed in the corridor, riders and the one minder who was actually catching allowed in the section. Everybody else bugger off. Hawkstone World Round - There will be riders, minders, mechanics bibs. Then there will be official press bibs. Some press unfortunately have got slightly different bibs. There will be about 5 people with FIM badges and a few other odds and sods. There will also be a few officials knocking about, including Harry Lampkin, who don't have a bib on at all, or a badge, errr in fact it's your call if they're meant to be there or not. When you're busy observing sometimes it's easier to ignore it if they're not in the way. The trouble is then, everybody else thinks, well if he can get away with it, so can I. To play it to the letter of the law, you have to be squeaky clean and very organised I suppose.

You really are the Uber-geek! If I didn't know you I'd be thinking "he's full of sh*t" I would love to see it done. Remember you need to sleep some time.

Well done anyway Alan for your part in publicising/organising the event. I can imagine how much work it has been, and still a fair bit to come no doubt. I remember some time ago you were feeling a bit downtrodden with it, but it seems to have picked up nicely. I hope that it all turns out to be worthwhile for you.